Funeral Flowers and Etiquette

When a passing occurs, it can be difficult to know how to comfort those left behind. As hard as it is to know what words to offer, deciding on funeral flowers can be equally so. We can help guide you to know what is best to memorialize your family member, close friend, or acquaintance.

What type of arrangement should I send?

The etiquette rules that decide what type of arrangements are appropriate are based on the sender’s relationship with the deceased.

Sympathy Vase or Basket: Anyone can order one of these, especially if they are closer to the family than the deceased. The arrangement can either go to the family's home or workplace or to the service with instruction to go home with the family afterwards.

Green or Blooming Plants: Anyone can send plants to the home or the service.

Funeral Basket or Urn: Typically, family members or those who had a close relationship with the deceased.

Standing Wreaths, Crosses, or Sprays: Mainly sent by family or those with close relationships. An exception would be when associations (like the American Legion) would like to honor the deceased for service during their life.

Lid Arrangements: Traditionally reserved for grandchildren or other young children close to the deceased.

Casket Sprays or Cremation Urn Florals: Reserved for the immediate family. If you are considering sending one of these arrangements, reach out to the family to be sure that they haven't already ordered one.

Tributes: Sent by family and good friends of the deceased. The design may be focused on the decedent's personality, occupation, association membership (i.e. military), or hobby. We have had the honor of making many personal tributes. Some of the recent ones were a turtle standing spray for a woman who loved turtles, a tractor display for a little boy who passed, and an oyster themed vase arrangement for a waterman.

What should be written on the sympathy card?

These messages are usually addressed to a member of the family or the entire family. Occasionally, they are written to the decedent when there are things left unsaid. The message conveys your sincere sympathies and offers your comfort. The family may appreciate any special memory you have to share.

Can I send brightly colored flowers to a funeral?

Definitely. If the deceased had a bright and energetic personality, you can reflect that through flowers. Bright colors can stand out in the soft lighting of the funeral home.

What should I send for a cremation?

If a funeral service is planned, you may choose a tribute arrangement or any other piece that is not reserved for the immediate family. If a memorial service with the family or no service is planned, it would be better to send a sympathy vase or basket arrangement to their home.

Some services begin with a traditional funeral service before the actual cremation. In this case, the traditional standing sprays, funeral baskets, or vase arrangements are perfectly appropriate. While other services happen after the cremation, as a celebration of life or memorial. For these, coordinate with the family on whether an urn arrangement has already been ordered. The only piece that shouldn’t be sent would be a casket spray after the cremation has already happened. Every other sympathy piece or plant would still be appropriate for the occasion.

Can I still send flowers if the obituary requests a charitable donation "in lieu of flowers"?

Yes. Flowers at a funeral service can bring some warmth and comfort to a somber event. They are a visible show of how much the deceased was loved and how many lives they touched. Flowers are always appropriate and appreciated at a funeral service.

When is it too late to offer our condolences?

It is never too late to offer comfort to the family. Plants and flowers are immediately sent to the family around the time of the service, but ongoing comfort and support would be highly appreciated as a way to remind the family that you are still thinking of them and their loss.